How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
