i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
