that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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