high people should be assigned attendants
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
it's great music for shaving your balls
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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