but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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