i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
