Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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