All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
