I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
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