would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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