How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
