If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize