You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize