Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
