How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
