even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Randomize
