Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
