Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
