out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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