just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
This can only be settled by a dance off.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
