im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
