She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
