R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
