Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
