I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
My life is pants optional.
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