i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
