Say something about gay babies.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
