He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
sick fucks of a feather flock together
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
