ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
