i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
