Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
