I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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