He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
