like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
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