i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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