Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
