how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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