My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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