At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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