In the future we'll all be gay
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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