we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize