it was like eating out sand paper
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
