How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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