when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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