I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Randomize
