im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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