Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
