Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
