Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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