Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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