I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
