She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
