He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
