He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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