you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
