what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
