Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Holy sore nipples Batman
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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