3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Nicole vs. Life
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
