White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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