I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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