I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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