Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
