sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Randomize
